12 weeks or 13 weeks?

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So woohoo I’ve reached some sort of milestone. Going on my EPU scan I’m into my 13th week, going on my dates I’m going into my 12th week. Either way, some milestone has been reached. Poppy seed deserves a pat on the back for sure. Especially seeing as I’ve been so miserable and stressed recently.
To fill you in, if you’re bothered:

I’ve had a 5/6 day long headache now so safe to call it a migraine. This has been brought on by much stress and upset. Where I work, I am currently there as a self employed contractor. All has been well, bar the occasional upset over politics. So, we had a phone call in Monday for us to pop down and see the boss. I couldn’t so I sent the OH down. Basically, he told Gary that my job was being advertised as a full time position to be employed by the company. It was going live that night at midnight and to make sure I put an application in. Now, ordinarily this wouldn’t make me panic. Hormones, don’t you just love them?
But I am panicking. I am panicking because the last time a post became available over 250 people applied. Even though I’ve been doing the job and am the most qualified for the job, it doesn’t mean I will get it.
I have to hide the fact I am pregnant for even longer (which up until now, I’ve definitely done a good job of).
I have to go to a formal interview and all that jazz. Then, even if I do get it, there is the 3 month probation which means I could still loose the job. I’m not saying that once I’ve revealed I’m pregnant they’d find fault with that, I’m worried they would try find fault with my work and then I’d loose my job. Hurrah…. On the flip side, there’s the potential I won’t get the job, that this time next month my main source of income vanishes and I have to try and get a job somewhere else as a big fat pregnant lady *lies down* there in lies a lot of stress.
Tie in the fact the toddler is going through some stuff, OH is in denial and yup, this may all tip me over the edge.

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EPAU scan number 2

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Yesterday was my second scan at the EPAU. The nurse there is awesome and so so lovely. She really does make you feel at ease. After initial chat I was told to come back at half 10 with a full bladder because chances are a scan of my belly would show baby. This excited me and the internal scans have always hurt me a little.
I went and drank a lot of orange juice, went for a walk back to the car and general time killing ensued. Time was moving on though and it made me nervous about getting to 1 on time for pick up. I was called in and met the student radiographer. She was going to scan me first and then the radiographer would. Now, I don’t know whether it was because she was a student or because I am a larger lady or what but she wasn’t anywhere near where my growing womb was. She pushed down on my pelvic bone a lot and then my hip bone. I actually cried a little but didn’t tell her (stupid me). Once the radiographer took over it was a lot smoother and actually barely felt a thing. She showed the student how to take measurements and the type of stuff you’d want for the photo for parents with a dating scan. It was pretty awesome because I got to see poppy seed for a bit longer. Poppy seed is fine and has a strong heart beat. Poppy seed was also measuring in to their 11th week, which means I am a week further along than I thought. This makes me all the more excited for my dating scan. Yesterday proved a good day apart from I started to feel really poorly.
I took myself to the doctors today and it would appear I have a vicious kidney infection that should have been treated when I went to A and E. I am now on a strong course of anti biotics which is making me feel even sicker than pregnancy sickness. I just hope this isn’t a sign of things to come. I don’t want to spend weeks and weeks of feeling poorly and not coping with pregnant life. One off? I hope so.
Right now I’m in bed shivering my body off with my lovely temperature. Stay tuned for more joys!
Oh and dating scan is 28th October.

The booking in appointment

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The day didn’t get off to a great start. First proper day after night shifts is always a bit off. #1 was in good spirits and actually ate breakfast, huzzah! Before we then made out way to preschool. Hung his coat and bag up, he toddled on in and I had “mum, can I have a word please?”
My heart immediately sank. Shit. I’m up to date on fees I know that. #1 better it be being nasty to anyone. Ah, what could possibly be going on?

“Mum, have you noticed a delay in #1? His speech really isn’t on target for his age. I mean, he’s three soon isn’t he?”

*duly nods*

“It’s just, yesterday, during group time, I asked him to do something am he did it straight away, but when I asked him a question he answered in jibberish”

*starts to cry*

“Oh I’m sorry for upsetting you, it’s just we wondered whether you had noticed and if there was anything you wanted us to do?”

*sniffs*

As it happens, yes. I have noticed. It has been a concern of mine but he has improved a lot since going to pre school. I’ve been hoping it would sort itself out. Naive? Possibly. But as we are all told and twitter has reassured me, every child develops at different rates, but seeing as they have noticed and it’s being noted on his record I’m going to take him to the GP. See if they can help. The member of staff was great and really kind and lovely. She’s asked me to tell her when I notice he’s achieving something and when he’s saying new words etc. So that was the start of my day. I won’t lie, once I left I had a moment in the toilet where I did think “you’re doing a crap job with #1, why on earth are you bringing #2 into the mix?” Weak moment as a mum.

Picked him up, he was happy. Home, fed all three of us lunch then I want back out to the midwife appointment. The community midwives are ace. I love them all, and one of my favourites from having #1 happened to be booking me in.

Our hospitals have gone through a radical change. Where I had #1 has been downgraded. SCBU has been removed, totally and no consultants operate from the maternity ward. It’s been declassified to a midwife led unit and is for low risk pregnancies. That’s the hospital in my county.
The hospital in the next county to me has been revamped. It has a brand new SCBU that services three counties… It has a midwife led unit for low risk pregnancies and it also has a consultant led ward for high risk pregnancies. Still with me?
No it’s my choice (well it was initially) where I gave birth. I had already thought I’d go to the hospital in the next county along because I live equal distance between the two. Ace.
However, because of living in the county I do, my scans and midwife appointments will happen in my county because the other hospital is refusing the take on the extra admin etc. When I had #1 if I had decided to have him in the hospital I want #2, all of my care would have been done there. Complicated? Yup, but I sort of grasp in.
As it happens, for a number of reasons, I am high risk. One of them being #1 was a very big baby, 9lb 15oz (I’ve always thought it was 9lb 14oz, after checking his red book yesterday I stand corrected) I had a prenatal bleed of 1000ml, I had SPD, my BP kept dropping and I kept having palpitations. All factors that are causing me to be high risk. Oh, and not forgetting I am a massive fatty. I will probably end up under the same consultant as I had #1, who rather delightfully last time kept telling me how obese I was. I often left those appointments crying. I’m fatter this time so it will be even more riveting, but I may tell him to stop being such a rude ass.
So yes, high risk I am. Giving birth in the consultant led unit, in the hospital I wanted to give birth in, yet I still feel a bit deflated. I’d made the choice, but to have the choice totally taken from me anyway has made me a little sad.
Yesterday was a mix bag. The midwife was lush and made me a coffee, it really did take an hour and a half to on in and I have the coolest hospital number ever.
I know my scan will take place sometime the week commencing the 27/10 that seems ages away, but I’m almost 10 weeks now, so it will fly I’m sure.

Week 9 of many more

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So poppy seed you’re now about an inch long, which is the same as a green olive. You’re not very big but I do know you’re there. My womb is apparently twice it’s size now. I am feeling very bloated and just look a bit fatter than normal.

My sickness is still ever present, the biggest thing this week is that I’ve been sleeping so much. Napping like a car everywhere I can. In bed by 8 most night, half 8 by the latest.
I spent one day just napping on and off on the sofa whilst peppa pig did her magic for #1. This tiredness isn’t fun with a toddler because it’s making me feel like a bad mum. Especially when he’s super cute and strokes my face giving me kisses and saying “love oo mama”. Totally breaks my heart. So that’s this week in a nut shell.
Yesterday I had another bleed. Went over to a and e where I was checked over. An internal examination showed that it was old blood that there is mucus build up but it all looks normal. Swabs were taken to be safe, the os was closed so that’s good. That’s what their concern was. My potassium level in my blood was high and something else was low which shows dehydration apparently. Not dehydrated enough to be kept in. My urine showed +1 blood and +1 something else that I can’t remember which shows infection, but because I haven’t got the classic burning pain I wasn’t given anti biotics.
Today I have burning so will be taking myself off to the doctor on Monday.
As something to look forward to though, I have my booking in appointment with the midwife on Wednesday which takes an hour and a half apparently! I’m excited because it means I will soon have an appointment for a dating scan which also means the first trimester is nearly done. It’s been a strange 9 weeks but we are here. Only another 31 weeks to go.

Congratulations Poppy Seed

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Congratulations Poppy Seed. You’ve now entered the realm of being recognised as a foetus. This is excellent news.

I am all swollen breasts and tears.
My boobs are noticeably bigger to both myself and the OH (not that he’s complaining).
I am even more tired if that’s possible? I’m looking forward to tiredness subsiding a little.
I am still beyond sick. I am still wanting all the gherkins.
I cannot stand meat, any meat. I can’t do anything apple flavoured. I can’t do BO (normal people can’t do this, but I really cannot do it, makes me wretch). I also can’t do smelly breath so am offering everyone chewing gym and mints.
My belly is bloated and I just look fatter than normal so I’m wearing baggy tops a lot. I am expecting a phone call this week for my booking in appointment with the midwife. This happens between 8-10 weeks in my area. This is something to look forward to. I’m going to tell them my hospital of preference to give birth in and where I’d like my scans to happen. I am allowing myself to get excited. I am allowing myself to joke with OH that cooking a baby is exhausting work. I am allowing us to look forward. I am hoping with all hopes this doesn’t bite me on the ass.

I still have a good feeling about it all.

Things that are different this time

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Every pregnancy is different. I know that so I’m living in hope this will be a much more positive experience.
I have grown up a lot from the time I discovered I was pregnant with #1

For a start, I am 4 years older. I wasn’t far off my 23rd birthday when I fell pregnant but I was still 22. In a new relationship, in a fairly new job, moved in to a new house and ever so slightly overwhelmed by it all.
Growing a human in my stomach quite frankly terrified me. I was achy, headachy and sick pretty much straight away.
I had masses amounts of stress due to the OH going through some stresses.
I was paranoid, scared, very poorly at times and suffering with antenatal depression.
I struggled, the OH struggled and I’m amazed that we actually survived it (apparently on times I was a total utter bitch too)

This time, we are very much established as a couple. We’ve come through hell and back, we are here. We are strong, we are very much in love still.
We have a beautiful little toddler joining in the journey.
I am happy, we are happy, to be expecting another baban.
I am sicky and nauseous pretty much all the time but I am glowing and happy. I am ready for what is coming, I know how my body will change. I am looking forward to those changes. I know my warning signs for when it gets too much, but for now all is well.
I am excited and nervous, but nervous about how I will have enough love for two babies. I am looking forward to having a newborn and a toddler and the adventures that will happen. I am content and it’s showing.

Every pregnancy is different and I’m going to enjoy every second of this.